so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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