From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize