Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize