We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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