I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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