onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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