Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize