Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
someone owes me an orgasm
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Oh god it's open bar.
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