She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize