now i know why i became what i already was.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize