No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize