I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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