Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize