I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
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Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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