dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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