Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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