so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize