eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize