I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize