Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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