I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
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Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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