Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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