We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize