She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize