the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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