btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
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He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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