Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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