Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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