dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize