He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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