Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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