Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So vagazzling was a success
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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