what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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