I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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