i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We have started to decorate penises.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
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Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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