I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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