UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize