pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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