hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize