im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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