And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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