what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
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Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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