i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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