I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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