youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize