This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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