yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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