Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize