sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
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you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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