He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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